A joke around the definite article

Tourist: Excuse me, what is time?

Person on street: I'm sorry, perhaps the physics department of a university can help you.

Old counterfeiters joke

Today a joke I read many years ago came back to me.

A pair of incompetent counterfeiters printed some $18 notes. Thinking that perhaps they could fool country folk, they rock up at a grocery store in a small town.

"Would you be able to break up an $18 note?", one says to the shopkeeper.

"Sure, would you like threes or sixes?", replies the shopkeeper without batting an eyelid. 

The Days of Wine and Roses

At the end of the ITV drama The Durrells, series 2 episode 4, Louisa Durrell recites the poem Vitae Summa Brevis:

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.

The poem is by Ernest Dowson (1867-1900), a tragic poet if ever there was one. It was based on an ode of Horace, Vitae summa brevis spem nos vetat incohare longam, The brief sum of life denies us the hope of enduring long.

Many people will recognise the phrase The Days of Wine and Roses. It is a popular song which was composed for the eponymous film, about alcoholism, darker than its lyrics suggest. It was indeed from the poem that the playwright JP Miller took the title of his 1958 teleplay which was made into a film in 1962.

I find the poem a poignant and succinct statement of the human condition.